GIIIRRRRLLLLL, moving out on your own!!!! This is so exciting and trust me when I say I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. Whether you are just moving out of your parents for the first time or you have been doing the whole roommate thing for a bit now. Deciding it’s time to go off in this big scary world to live ALONE is a really big deal. Now, don’t get me wrong, It comes at a cost, that isn’t just currency (don’t worry i’ll get into that) but trust me when I say it is 110% WORTH IT. You, my friend, are about to learn so much, not only about the world, but about yourself. This season your walking into is going to be the most influential of them all and you will not regret any of it. Some days will be more challenging than others, but do not let those days deter you from this incredible experience.
Now, I have been on my own (out of my parents’ house) since I was 17 (I am 23 now), so some time. But it wasn’t until a little over a year ago, I decided it was my time to live on my own. Over the years, I’ve lived with family, friends, significant others, and for a short period convinced my mom I needed her just as much as she needed me. And as you probably know, there are so many perks to living with others, like my personal favorite CHEAP RENT. However, there comes a time where cheap rent and knowing someone will be there to find your lifeless body if you were to slip in the shower and knock yourself out, don’t outweigh the pros of coming home to find your stuff is in the same place you left it this morning.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I have spent years of my life on Pinterest. Day-dreaming of how I would decorate my future home when I got the chance to design my own space. It always got me so excited to not just be able to actually afford to decorate and buy things that weren’t “necessities” for my home, but also to have a blank canvas that was mine and only mine. I wanted my home neutral, earthy, bright, cozy, and most importantly aesthetic; ya know, like the other girls on Pinterest who shared their “first apartment inspo” pictures. They were everything I wanted and then some. They had knick-knacks and decor and plants and blankets and matching dishes and cute pots and pans and shelves and wall art and rugs. It was luxurious. It was a dream. Literally. Because what these influencers failed to mention about getting your first apartment, was, well, pretty much everything that is the reality of getting your first apartment. Thanks to these girls, I had to learn the hard way. But, I wouldn’t trade it for the world because it has brought me the inspiration to write this and help girls like me, come out the gate a little more prepared.
Honestly, this might have to be a multi-part post because there is so much I want to share with you about what you’re about to experience. But let’s start with the first “coming to Jesus” moments I had after I stepped into MY VERY OWN apartment for the first time.
1. IT WILL NOT BE PERFECT
GIRL, this place does NOT need and will NOT need to be perfect. It’s going to cost you a pretty penny amount just to get into this place (security deposit + first month’s rent + whatever other stupid fees this place is going to charge you at move in), so when it comes to actually taking this empty space and turning it into your safe haven, just remember it doesn’t have to be perfect. Just needs to be YOURS. When I moved into my first apartment I had a hand-me-down mattress, shower curtain, and a suitcase or 2 full of clothes. I was so excited moving my stuff in, until I finished in about a half hour and realized how empty it felt. My bank account looked about the same as my living room, which was the moment I realized I needed to determine my wants vs. needs in my home. You need basics to get you started but overtime your collection of stuff will grow.
Keep your eye’s peeled for my FIRST APARTMENT CHECKLIST pdf to post, I am building a step by step guide to help you feel more prepared when you move in to your first place AND STAY ON BUDGET.
2. FURNITURE IS EXPENSIVE
I will not lie to you, but my ego at 21 and 22 was HUGE bahahha I hate admitting that, but it really was. I mean, I would rather not have a couch at all than spend a couple hundred dollars for a used one off Facebook marketplace, I didnt want somebody else’s stuff anymore, I wanted this home to be 100% me and mine. GIIIRRRLLLL furniture is expensive. Do not be like me. I went 8 months without a couch before biting the bullet. But for now, for a little while, save your money, get caught up. Score as much used furniture you possibly can. My top recommendations: Facebook (despite the scammers) has been my go-to, I got a HUGE 8 person sectional in great condition for $100 after some negotiating and it was perfect, but be careful. The other place I would recommend checking out, per my friends’ recommendation is Goodwill. You never know what you’ll find there.
I have only lived on my own for a little over a year, so I still wouldn’t consider myself “seasoned”, there are a lot of things I still don’t have in my home. But it is mine and that’s what matters to me.
3. IT GETS LONELY
Now, nobody warning me about my empty apartment, was one thing, and I forgive that. It’s something you learn and work with. What I wasn’t ready for after I moved all my belongings in, scrubbed the placed top to bottom, and rearranged over and over; was what happened the second I was done. I sat down on my bed. And the SILENCE WAS SO LOUD. GIRL, keep in mind I didn’t even have a tv. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I literally was like “now what?” IT WAS SO QUIET. Why does nobody ever talk about how lonely living alone can be? Maybe because it’s a blessing in disguise. At first, I panicked, I did not know what to do with myself and this new found freedom. But then I realized I could do LITERALLY WHATEVER I WANTED, WITHOUT DISTRACTIONS. It was incredible. You can run around naked, you can do a face mask, you can use all the hot water, you can experiment with a new recipe. The options are endless when you can use your space EXACTLY HOW YOU WANT. It’s unlike anything else. I have no interest in talking you out of moving out and into your own place but I promised you I wouldn’t lie to you, so I am sticking to my word.
The silence has it’s pros and cons. Somedays you are so incredibly glad you can cook a cake booty-butt naked, singing to the Morgan Wallen Pandora radio, other days are harder. Other days you’ll miss your roommate cooking extra dinner for you after a long day, or your parents’ asking way too many questions about that one friend you never talk about anymore. Somedays the time will pass by so slow, you’ll think the day will never end and you’ll die of boredom. Someday’s you’ll come home and just want someone to listen to you vent about how rude the customers at work were, and you’ll walk in the door and the only thing you’ll hear is the silence. And somedays it’ll be so quiet you’ll think the creaks your hearing are the ghosts of past tenants just trying to freak ya out a little bit. There were days where I would just sit and stare at the ceiling, contemplating all sorts of life decisions I made. But, there were also days where I would try a new side hustle or meal prep or when I was feeling extra frisky, indulge in some online shopping. I don’t want But, Babe, I want you to immerse in the silence. Take advantage of it. Enjoy every second. This is your oasis. Learn new hobbies, create new habits, schedule a new routine, try new things, and fill the silence with your favorite things. I have done so much growing inside these 4 walls I come home to everyday. Got myself a fur baby, started creating content and filming parts of my life more for fun and income, and launching this (and one other dud) blog.
4. IT IS WORTH IT
I write none of this to deter you from taking the leap of living alone. But to educate you on the things nobody warned me about. Yes, I had assumed and anticipated a little bit. But, I never understood until I was in the moment and wondering why nobody ever talks about the obstacles and learning curves that come with truly being alone. It will be life-changing. This is YOUR space to flourish and become the highest version of yourself. And this is just the beginning. Keep pushing babe, you are going places and I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.